Whenever I find myself reacting to the actions or words of another by projecting my past experience onto the future as fear, resentment, anger or anything that feels bad in any way, I like to go back to this passage from A Course In Miracles. I extend it here in case it may help another.
Perceive in sickness but another call for love and offer your brother what he believes he cannot offer himself. Whatever the sickness, there is but one remedy. You will be made whole as you make whole, for to perceive in sickness the appeal for health is to recognize in hatred the call for love. And to give a brother what he really wants is to offer it unto yourself, for your father wills you to know your brother as yourself. Answer his call for love and yours will be answered. Healing is the love of Christ for His Father and for Himself.
A Course in Miracles 11:3:16